they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize