there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize