It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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