i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
