he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
