Do vagina's smell?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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