You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
