I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
