Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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