i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize