My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
