I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
