You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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