the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
