D3 body, D1 cock
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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