when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
