Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
