We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
