i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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