Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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