They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
