I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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