I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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