So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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