I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
