I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
