my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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