Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
