im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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