I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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