Quick, to the slutcave!
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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