Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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