Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
