They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
only if we run a train.
done.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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