why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
