I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
