come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My bed smells like the plague
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
