I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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