we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
