vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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