You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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