He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
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