Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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