Christians are straight up FREAKS
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
