I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
