I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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