I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
