Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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