that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
