sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
