i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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