I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Your cock deserves a montage
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
