Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
