Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
