Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize