It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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