so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
