it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
