so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize