At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
