so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
ugly people sure do ruin things
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
