And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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