I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just sucked dick on a ferry
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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