Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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