Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize