I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
