last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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