he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize