ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
