Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize