We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
