I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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