Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize